Amazon makes it so easy to buy things. If I’m buying from a site that needs me to put in my card info…no thanks. Too hard.
Most of the time, I’m able to slow down, think if it’s something I really need or want, and actually decide if I want it to show up on my doorstep in like five minutes.
That wasn’t and isn’t always true though. When I’m stressed. When my husband’s gone on deployment, even when I’m really excited about something…I click before I think it through. (This wouldn’t be terrible, except I’m someone who lacks the executive functioning to return things).
Yesterday, the day before Thanksgiving, my daughter brought up a really good point and it triggered a thought that caused me to sit down and write this.
She spelled:
I’VE HAD HIGH IMPULSIVITY BECAUSE REGULATION IS HARD WHEN I’M EXCITED. THANKSGIVING IS MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY.
Most of the time, I think of impulsivity as triggered by something negative but that isn’t always true. It can be triggered by any sensory or emotional stimuli.
We all have different parts of our brain in charge of certain movements we make with our body. Two of the quickest places are Reflexive and Impulsive.
You know reflexive - reflex - think touching a hot stove, and pulling your hand back. We don’t leave our hand long enough to think, “that’s hot I should move my hand.” Reflexive movements are triggered by sensory stimuli. These quick movements happen WITHOUT THOUGHT and are our brains sweet way of trying to protect us.
Thanks brain.
Impulsive movements also happen without thought but are not just triggered by sensory - they can also be triggered by emotional stimuli! Like loving Thanksgiving so much.
Because my kids have apraxia aka a “brain body disconnect,” they sometimes get stuck in these impulsive spaces. They struggle with planned movement (which my son and I wrote about here). Planned or purposeful movement starts with a thought or idea, is carried out, reflected on, and can be repeated. It’s me checking my budget, comparing different products, and deciding that I want to buy x, y, or z.
Anytime we can help ourselves or others move from the protective parts of our brain to the thinking parts, we support regulation and autonomy.
So, how can we help?
Talk to your loved ones, including nonspeakers, about what the day will look like. This isn’t a rigid plan but a “it will probably go something like this” type thing.
If you can, create a “sensory room” or if at another home, a “sensory plan.” This can be as simple as a room that is off limits for playing, has the curtains closed, music on, heavy blankets - whatever is cozy and regulating! Let everyone know that if they start to feel dysregulated, they can go to that room and/or that you’ll help them get there. Bring a travel sensory tool kit if you’re heading to another house.
Let everyone in the family know that you know that the holidays can bring up emotions and that you know that impulsivity isn’t a choice! Just knowing that your loved ones don’t view you as “bad,” “naughty,” or “troublesome” is very regulating.
Help others understand. You don’t have to sit down and explicitly explain concepts - just your own posture, demeanor, preparation, and the language you use will rub off on people.
I asked my son who also does not use speech to communicate if he had any advice on how we can support them and he spelled:
EVERYONE OUGHT TO HAVE EXTRA LOVE AND EMPATHY FOR EVERYONE ELSE
Happy Thanksgiving from our family to yours.
~ Gigi
Amazing thoughts and comments from each of them! ❤️. Great job Mom!